We negotiate everyday, sometimes not even knowing that we are.  These negotiations could be for the sale price of a car or something as simple as what is for dinner.  No matter what the negotiation is, you must know how to negotiate.  More importantly, when dealing with narcissism, you need to know how to negotiate with a narcissist.  What are the negotiation tips that will set you up for success?

This week on the Against All Odds Radio Show, hosts Sean V. Bradley, CSP and L.A. Williams talk about sell or be sold. Grant Cardone talks about how everyone is selling or is being sold. You are either selling someone on a concept or idea or you are being sold on why they are or are not doing something. To be successful in selling, you need to be skilled in the art of negotiation. Joining Sean and L.A. this week is the master negotiator, Rebecca Zung.

About Rebecca Zung

Rebecca Zung is an attorney and is recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell.  Rebecca is one of the top 1% divorce attorneys in the nation.

In addition to her work as an attorney, Rebecca is also the author or Negotiate Like YOU M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win, and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide to Achieving Emotional, Physical & Spiritual Freedom. Rebecca even helps people with her free Crush My Negotiation Worksheet, focused on Taking Control Of Your Negotiations With A Narcissist.

She is also a YouTube superstar! Her channel educates people on the behaviors of narcissists including the psychology of how they act in negotiations. With over 13 million views and over 205k subscribers, she offers actual proven strategies, tactics and step by step guidance on how to effectively create leverage so that you can shift the dynamic and create a fair resolution.

Show Notes: Tips On How To Negotiate From Master Negotiator Rebecca Zung

What Is A Narcissist?

Rebecca looks at narcissism as a spectrum, because all people want to be seen, known, and feel like they matter.  The word narcissist is actually a diagnosis by a psychologist or psychiatrist, but people tend to use it to describe people who have narcissistic traits or tendencies.  These tendencies are typically tied to the most insecure people That have to suck all of their value from external sources and are paired with people who have no sense of care or empathy for others.  It is an extreme form of selfishness.

Tips On How To Negotiate

Rebecca Zung’s Negotiation Strategy

Rebecca’s strategy for negotiation follows the acronym SLAY.

1. Strategy: Build a super strong strategy.
2. Leverage: Create invincible leverage.
3. Anticipate: Anticipate what the other side is going to do and be two steps ahead of them.
4. You: Focus on you and your position.

Perspective, Mindset, & Preparation

Perspective is critical to negotiation.  Rebecca feels like 80% – 95% of a negotiation is won before you even walk into the room.  Of this, 50% of it is your mindset.  You have to know, believe, and feel with every cell in your body that you have the power to achieve what it is that you want to achieve.

From that place, that’s when you start doing all of your preparation.  You want to start preparing as if you are on both sides of the negotiation.  This will keep you ready to respond to their arguments and objections with the proper rebuttals.

Negotiation Tips: It Starts With Preparation

There are many aspects to negations, but it all starts with preparation.  There are two key areas in your preparation.

1. Research.  You need to do extensive research.  It is not only researching your side, but also researching their side.  From there, you need to formulate your argument and put together your leverage.
2. Risk Analysis.  The second key to your preparation is the risk analysis.  You need to identify the risks.  Then you need to analyze the return on investment and how much time is needed.  Lastly, you need to evaluate the emotional drain and the timing of the negotiations.

How To Negotiate With A Narcissist

The Flaws Of Negotiating With A Narcissist

When you are dealing with a narcissist, there is a flaw in thinking that there might be something that they are going for.  People typically enter these negotiations thinking what the other side wants.  Then, they approach the situation to just give it to them, especially if they just want to get out.  The flaw with this is that narcissists need an endless amount of narcissistic supply, which is anything that feeds their ego.  This could be things such as intimidation or control.

Perspective When Negotiating With A Narcissist

When negotiating with a narcissist, it feels like it never ends because they need this constant supply.  So, they keep moving the goalpost and then will blame you.  With this in mind, you can win negotiations with a narcissist.  Rebecca has done it thousands of times.  You just have to make sure that your strategy and leverage is based on the idea that they need this supply.  

How To Negotiate With A Narcissist: Hierarchy Of Supply

However, within this supply, you need to look at the hierarchy of supply for them.  The first supply is the diamond level supply.  This could be their image, how they look, and how the world sees them.  They will protect and defend this by all means.

The next level of supply is the dark underbelly of supply.  This is the gaslighting, intimidating, making you squirm, controlling, and devaluing you.  They definitely get supply from this, but it is not as important to their diamond level supply.

The idea of strategy and leverage is understanding their levels of supply.  Once you understand this principle, you can then build your case accordingly.

How To Negotiate With A Narcissist: Put Your Strategy Into Place

The first thing you want to do is to build rapport with them.  The best way to do this is through bartering, but more specifically, narcissistic bartering.  You need to start with fluffing their ego.  “Oh you are so good at this, maybe you should be the one handling this situation”.  In doing this, you are getting them to do something you want them to do by saying they are so good at it.  Therefore, you are getting something you want out of the deal.  You are manipulating the manipulator.

Another way is to build leverage by showing how they can potentially be exposed if they don’t come to the table.  Perhaps they have practices that are less than ethical that they may not want others to know about.  It’s not blackmail, it is just ethically articulating that you have the ability to do something and that you are going to if.  This leverage can and will give you the upper hand in negotiations.

More About The Against All Odds Radio Show’s Hosts and Guests

Sean V Bradley | L.A. Williams | Rebecca Zung

Resources: Tips On How To Negotiate

Dealer Synergy & Bradley On Demand: The automotive industry’s #1 training, tracking, testing, and certification platform and consulting & accountability firm.

The Millionaire Car Salesman Podcast: is the #1 resource for automotive sales professionals, managers, and owners.  Also, join The Millionaire Car Salesman Facebook Group today!

The Against All Odds Radio Show: Hosting guests that have started from the bottom and rose to the top.  Also, join The Against All Odds Radio Show Guests & Listeners Facebook Group for the podcasted episodes.

For more interactivity, join The Millionaire Car Salesman Club on Clubhouse.

Win the Game of Googleopoly: Unlocking the secret strategy of search engines.

Car.com: Visit Car.com today, where they do the research and you do the driving.

Scar Food: Scar Treatment for Scars, Acne Scars, & Stretch marks – visit ScarFood.com today!

Any business owner, athlete, entertainer, or entrepreneur is familiar with the concept of losing, and understandably, the magnitude of loss can be difficult. We are trained in these positions to take our mistakes and losses as a lesson for the future, but no one is there to train you on how to overcome adversity.  We have all heard that you must fail to succeed, but who is there to teach you how to overcome the feelings that come with failures. 

Recognizing the full effort placed into your goal can redirect your disappointment.  Finding satisfaction in your role in your training, preparation, studying, and performance is the first step to get ahead of the curve, and on the right track back to success.

This week on the Against All Odds Radio Show, hosts Sean V. Bradley, CSP and L.A. Williams discuss what it takes to be successful.  More importantly, they focus on the side of success that is not nearly as glamorous, failure.  In order to succeed, you must fail and overcome adversity.

Joining Sean and L.A. is Karl Mecklenberg, a former Denver Broncos Captain and All-Pro Linebacker.  In many ways, professional athletes, entrepreneurs/ business professionals are very similar. While both are known to be risk takers, they are fully recognized as goal-oriented and fully aware of incremental improvement.

About Karl Mecklenberg

Karl Mecklenburg is a former Denver Broncos Captain and All-Pro Linebacker.  Considered the NFL’s most versatile player, Karl played all seven defensive front positions in a career that included six Pro Bowl and three Super Bowl appearances.  In 2001, Karl was inducted into the Denver Broncos Ring of Fame and the Colorado Sports Hall of Fame. Karl was a semifinalist for the Pro Football Hall of Fame for eight consecutive years.

After his career in the NFL, Karl Mecklenburg, CSP, earned the Certified Speaking Professional designation from the National Speaker’s Association and is presently the only football legend to have achieved Certified Speaking Professional designation.  

As a highly regarded speaker, Karl tailors his presentations to the needs of the group while teaching and inspiring his audience.  The lessons life in the NFL taught him about teamwork, courage, dedication, desire, honesty and forgiveness, and goal setting are his “Six Keys to Success”.

Fail To Succeed: How To Overcome Adversity

Karl’s Path To The NFL

Karl had to overcome adversity during his entire journey to the NFL.  In his junior year of high school, he did not make the varsity football team and played on the JV team.  He was not sought after by colleges to play football for them, nor did he receive a student athlete scholarship.  Instead, he ended up being a college walk on.

When the NFL draft came, it looked like Karl was not going to make it.  He waited until the very end, where he was selected in the 12th round as the 310th pick.  He was the 20th to last pick in the NFL draft and was not expected to make the final team.

How Karl Solidified His Position On The Denver Broncos

Karl did not let that get to his head and worked hard throughout the Broncos training camp.  He believes it was this work and dedication that led to the moment that secured his position on the team.  It was his first preseason game and Karl played in the 3rd quarter.  With this time on the field, his tenacity, and his training, Karl was prepared to seize the moment.  He recorded a few sacks, forced a fumble, and was named the defensive player of the game.

Karl’s Successes and Failures In The NFL

In his 12 years playing football for the Denver Broncos, he only experienced 2 losing seasons.  He even played in three Super Bowls.  It was a dream come true; however, he and the Broncos got beat and got beat badly in all three Super Bowls.

After the first Super Bowl loss, Karl thought the sun wouldn’t come up.  But the sun did come up.  It was heartbreaking, but life goes on.  That was the lesson: clarity and consistency.  Karl’s thought process was “This is who I am, this is the direction I am going.  I am a pro football player and I have to get ready for next year”.

How To Overcome Adversity Star, Karl Mecklenburg

How Karl Approaches His Failures

Karl believes that you need to persevere and overcome your losses.  Karl made it to the Super Bowl three times and lost all three times.  Personally, Karl approaches it like many other things in life.  Football is a team game just as business, family, and community is a team game.  If you do everything you possibly can to come out on top, then at the end of the day, you can look yourself in the eye.  

Karl’s best advice is to make the right decisions and choices along the way.  If you prepare to your very best, are clear and consistent in the cornerstones of what is important to you and the team, and do everything you can to succeed, then your failures are not actually failures.  You can look yourself in the eye no matter the outcome, whether you win or lose.

Karl’s Perspective On Success & Failure

In his career, there were games that Karl lost but played very well and felt good about the game.  There were also games that Karl won but he played poorly and felt bad about the game.  It is important how the team does; however, you don’t have control over the entire team.  The one thing that you can control though, is your preparation and your performance.

Karl used this same approach when recovering injuries.  When recovering from injuries, Karl would see other players lifting weights, practicing, and training while he was there trying to walk again.  This is where he realized “what can I actually do?  What can I control?”.  Karl used this time to make connections in the locker room and the training room.  

Typically, football teams have cliques, offensive players will hang out with other offensive players, defense with defense, older players with older players, etc.  Karl crossed a lot of those lines.  The advantage was that when he got back, he had those connections all the way through the team and was able to lead the team as a captain with everyone as opposed to just the group that he would naturally fall into.

The Keys To Success

Success Is Dependent Upon Your Attitude

If you get down when you fail and think that you are unable to do something, then you won’t be able to.  Karl’s entire path to the NFL was a rough road with failures, but he did not let the tough times make decisions for him.  If he let himself become what everyone else said he was, he would not have enjoyed a 12 year career in the NFL. You are who you say you are.  It is what you do, it’s how you control your situations, and how you prepare and go into each day.

Success Is Tied To Preparation

Karl goes into each day doing a little bible study, thinking about the people he is going to run into that day and how he can positively affect them and how he can help them.  With this routine, he is prepared for each day.  When opportunity arises, he is able to jump right on it.  Having a routine to properly prepare for each day will give you more chances where you can rise to the occasion to be successful, regardless of what other people are expecting out of you.

You Need To Have The Courage To Try New Things In Order To Succeed

Most people are afraid to fail.  They say they want to accomplish something, but they are so afraid of failing that they don’t put themselves out there.  You need to have the courage to try new things.  

Karl never played the linebacker position in football until his third year in the NFL.  He was a third down pass rusher and special teams player but his team said he would be able to help them as a linebacker.  He trained the entire year as a linebacker, but never played the position in a game until the 10th game of the season.  He played 6 games that season as a linebacker and ended up making the pro bowl as an all pro linebacker.  

You need the courage to try new things.  Everyone has more potential and possibility than we can use in a lifetime, but you need to have the courage to try new things.  You won’t have the chance to be successful if you do not have the courage to try new things.  Improvement is always changing, and if you don’t change, there is no way you can improve.

Decisiveness Is A Trait Of Successful People

Karl’s book, Heart of a Student Athlete: All-Pro Advice for Competitors and Their Families is a great place to start for anyone striving to make it to the NFL.  It talks about a number of different factors that allowed Karl to become successful and make it to the NFL.  His number one piece of advice though, is decisiveness.  

Decisiveness is all about preparation; going into each situation understanding what might happen and then allowing yourself to go.  Karl was the 310th pick in the draft, but what made him one of the best to ever play the game is that he was decisive.  He would take that first step.  If you take the first step in the right direction.  before anyone else does, all of the angles will change in your favor.  Taking the first step in the right direction before anybody else does, you have it made and you have the opportunity to be successful and open a whole lot of doors.

Practice, Drilling, & Training

Practice, drilling, and training is huge.  It is closely tied to your clarity and consistency in your pursuit of what is important to you.  Is what is important to you something you are thinking about and doing every day?  Are you taking another step towards that desire, passion, or mission each day?  You have to practice, drill, and train.  Through this, you will fail, but you have to allow yourself to fail.  Then you need to acknowledge the fact that you failed, followed by setting goals to fix those failures. 

Overcoming Adversity

Failure is a part of becoming successful.  People misunderstand success.  They believe success is because someone had a golden life.  This can not be further from the truth.  Everybody who is successful has had to overcome, overcome, and overcome.  If you are not getting knocked down and failing, then you are not pushing hard enough, and are likely not reaching your full potential.

You Need To Believe That Anything Is Possible

If you don’t believe that something is possible, then it is not possible.  There are at least 100 other people that are pushing for what you are pushing for.  If you are not pushing for it, they will get there before you do.  Karl’s whole concept of success is based on where your passion, mission, and desires fall.  

Success Is Dependent on Focus

Karl’s passion, mission, and desire was that he wanted to be the greatest player to ever play the game.  There were 110 other players in training camp and every single one of them were more gifted athletically than he was.  Why did Karl make it and they didn’t?  It was because of that focus.  When Karl made a decision, it was based on being the greatest NFL player to ever play the game.  

Sean V Bradley | L.A. Williams | Karl Mecklenburg

Dealer Synergy & Bradley On Demand: The automotive industry’s #1 training, tracking, testing, and certification platform and consulting & accountability firm.

The Millionaire Car Salesman Podcast: is the #1 resource for automotive sales professionals, managers, and owners.  Also, join The Millionaire Car Salesman Facebook Group today!

The Against All Odds Radio Show: Hosting guests that have started from the bottom and rose to the top.  Also, join The Against All Odds Radio Show Guests & Listeners Facebook Group for the podcasted episodes.

For more interactivity, join The Millionaire Car Salesman Club on Clubhouse.

Win the Game of Googleopoly: Unlocking the secret strategy of search engines.

Heart of a Student Athlete: All-Pro Advice for Competitors and Their Families by Karl Mecklenburg

Car.com: Visit Car.com today, where they do the research and you do the driving.

Scar Food: Scar Treatment for Scars, Acne Scars, & Stretch marks – visit ScarFood.com today!